Despite my ambitions to increase my blog contributions, just about the opposite has happened. I have been beset with a seeming plethora of health and medical issues that have tapped both my strength and health. This all seems to be quite contrary to my oft-repeated beliefs that just about the opposite would eventually happen. Besides this circumstance leaving me in a bit of an awkward position, it also serves to challenge some of my personal beliefs. So, if I can, I am going to make an attempt at addressing this (or these) issue(s) in this writing.
First of all, as has been the continuing case, my; our attempts to tell others of my beliefs and understandings has led to the usual brush-off in one form or another. I find that people with a stronger religious influence seem to be quicker to reject, and those with less of that base showing at least initially more interest. In a way that isn’t much of a surprise, but it is still considerably disappointing. Yet all I can really do is hold to what I understand and ride it out. In many ways that is sad, but it is about all I can do for the moment. Waiting is indeed a hard thing to do when it seems your life depends on it. In truth however, my life (and those of anyone else), depends first on God, then perhaps to varying degrees on others.
I could speculate until I am blue in the face as to why people with a stronger religious base are quicker to reject my ideas and teachings. Maybe because the word “teachings” seems remote to some. I don’t seem to be the sort of person whom that word fits; that is, I lack the formal background associated with teaching. Maybe more than that is my casual insistence on mentioning that I believe and understand that I;we, work for God. Truthfully, that seems to be the deal-breaker more often than not. The fact that it is a casual point with me seems to make it quite an audacious issue with others. Well, casual does not mean I lack respect for God or the job, it is merely the result of nearly 40 years worth of working on it since I first found out about it. That is also called experience, and I have *lots* of that. Learning the job in itself is a considerable challenge since there are no training manuals available. And, there are loads of people who also say they work for God, speak for God, etc., etc., so that serves to muddy the waters for me considerably. First of all, looking back at those religiously entrenched people who reject what we say, they often get their advice from all those “for God” claimants and take that advice as THE gospel. It would seem like a very odd place for me to jump into. It is. At times it feels like I am living naked in a sea of sharks, with only God to trust and guide me through. Been at it for nearly forty years, as I said, and still at it. That seems to say something…
Presently I am 74 years old. Of course I was a lot younger when I began my journey and I will be the first one to say I did not expect the training to take this long. And even this long is completely arbitrary since I have no better idea of how much further I have to go than I did when I began. I suppose that has been discouraging for the few that have tried to hold on to what we have been teaching them, even as now and then I have been a little discouraged myself. Waiting on God is not easy (I said that before)….
I didn’t come by my job on a lark. Fact is, I wasn’t looking for it and pretty much believed I wouldn’t have qualified anyway. Fact is one of my sisters even went so far as to tell me that I couldn’t work for God because I was her brother. Well, I held back from telling her that God didn’t hold that against me, but what she likely meant was that she knew enough of my life to where she figured I wouldn’t (or didn’t) meet the criteria for being a “holy man”. That’s ok, that was more or less what I already figured. What neither of us remembered is that God chooses whom God chooses and doesn’t seek approval from any of us. Of course that doesn’t keep people from interpreting that whatever way they want to and with that I don’t imagine even God would get a vote in their opinion.
Now I could launch into the whole story of how I got the job. But I just don’t think it is either useful at this point, or would serve any purpose beyond that. It is a pretty interesting story, but totally unprovable since I was the only one present at the time. So for now, I am just going to leave it alone and go on. It is important to remember that this is a writing; a blog, and as such it is something you can believe or not believe according to your inklings. What may surprise you is at the moment we are just telling you some things, not at all seeking to convert you, persuade you, gain a following, seeking money, favors or anything of the sort. We are just continuing with a process we started many years ago (about 1989) on our local BBS. How far we go with the story this time is really up to God, as it has always been.
So here we are, an old guy at this point, more or less talking the same talk that I have been doing for these many years. Why the old guy stuff matters is that we also believe that we are not going to die, old guy or not. But, we should also explain that I am presently sporting stage 4 kidney disease, about a thread away from dialysis. I have also had to have the rest of my teeth removed, have some sort of major stomach/intestinal problems, COPD and an assortment of other lesser health issues. This is why we say trust, belief and faith in God for real, when your life is on the line, isn’t as easy as some might think. While it does bother me that all this is going on, I still believe that *regeneration* is down there somewhere in my future, just as it is for countless numbers of other people. Sure I worry at times. I don’t think anything less is likely with anyone unless they have their heads totally in the clouds. It is just part of what is involved in learning this business of working for God to get prepared for what is coming next, what we have been calling a Better Way.
Next time we will tell you some of what a Better Way is. It is a very interesting subject…